Dufief Elementary School

Question and Answer of the Month

• April:
  My children never play fairly. How can I teach them to do so?

  Answer:
  To teach your kids to be fair, you need to show them how. Show them by example that you do not always favor one child over the other or give extras to one child that the other does not get. Many times when children fight, they are doing it to defend themselves, because they feel the other child is favored by the parents more than they are. This can lead to feelings of insecurity after time. Do not treat your children unfairly, always try to treat them equal whether they are the oldest, the youngest, or the middle child.

• February
  How can I teach my child to be trustworthy?

  Answer:For children in grades K-3, emphasize to your children that when we give our trust to someone we are confident in their ability not to hurt us, to be honest with us and we ultimately rely on them to be trustworthy. Trust is an essential aspect of any good relationship. When we receive trust, we are giving others the confidence that we are trustworthy, that we will be reliable, honest, be a good friend and be caring to that person.
  Sit down with them and talk about situations in which having someone who is trustworthy is important and how being trustworthy to friends and family is important. You can also watch movies that have characters in them who find themselves in situations of losing or gaining trustworthiness. What could the characters have done differently? What did the characters do right?
  For children in grades 4-6- Children in these grade levels depend greatly on their friends to support and to give support. This is a perfect subject to talk to your children about. "What is his/her best quality that makes you friends? Do you think that this is a trustworthy quality?" Use examples of things that you have done in your childhood that demonstrate trustworthy qualities or things that your children have done that demonstrated trustworthy qualities. "Even though you broke the lamp, telling the truth is a very trustworthy quality."

• January Question:
  How can I encourage my child to be more caring?

  Answer:You can model caring behavior, spend quality time with your child and encourage sharing, volunteer at local charities and/ or events, talk to your children about caring and help neighbors or get involved with neighborhood events.

• November Question:
  How can I teach my child respect?

  Answer:The best way to teach respect is to show it.
  Be honest. If you do something wrong, admit it and apologize.
  Be positive. Don't embarrass, insult or make fun of your child. Compliment them.
  Be trusting. Let your child make choices and take responsibility.
  Be fair. Listen to your child's side of the story before reaching a conclusion.
  Be polite. Use "please" and "thank you".
  Be reliable. Keep promises. Show your child that you mean what you say.
  Be a good listener. Give your child your full attention.
  Obey laws and follow rules.
  Be caring and show concern for people, animals and the environment.
  Avoid poor role models. When you see examples of disrespect, discuss them.
  When you set rules at home, explain to your child why the rule is important.
  Teach your child to respect themselves.
  Build their independence and give them responsibilities as soon as they can handle it.
  Help them set and achieve goals.
  Encourage honesty.
  Most importantly, show love! Say "I love you" often and give them plenty of hugs and kisses.
  If your child makes a mistake, remind them they are still loved.

• October Question:
  How can I help my child to be more responsible?

  Answer:Give your child chores to do. Here are 5 tips for getting your child involved:
   

  1. Start early. As soon as they are able to walk, they can begin to help you with small chores, like putting their toys away and tossing laundry into a basket.

  2. Offer choices. Allow your kids to have a say in the tasks they are responsible for. Make a list of all the things that need to be completed and allow your child to choose one or two age-appropriate tasks.

  3. Demonstrate. Whenever you're introducing a new task, make sure you show your children what to do.

  4. Set reasonable expectations. The most important thing about teaching your children to be responsible for chores around the house is that you are learning to work together as a family. At the same time, you're also exposing them to skills they'll need as an adult.

  5. Gradually increase your kids' responsibilities. As your children become more skilled in completing chores around the house, mix it up by introducing new tasks.

• August/September Question:
  How can I motivate my child to do their homework?

  Answer:
  Are you tired of arguing, nagging and struggling with your kids to get them to do their homework?
  If so, here are the 3 laws of homework and 8 homework tips for you.
   

  Law #1: Most children do not like to do homework. Do not try to get your child to like it, but focus on getting them to do it.

  Law #2: You cannot make anyone do it. You can not make your child learn. However, you can assist them. Send positive invitations. Invite and encourage your child by using the ideas that follow.

  Law #3: Too many parents see homework as the parent’s problem. So, they scream and shout. Have you noticed this does not work? Our responsibility as parents to is provide children with an opportunity to do homework and provide structure.

  Tip #1: Eliminate the word homework from your vocabulary. Replace it with word study. Have a study time instead of a homework time.

  Tip #2: Establish a study routine. This should be the same time every day and your children should have some input on when this will be.

  Tip #3: Keep the routine predictable and simple. For example, have a warning that study time is approaching, clear the study table, and empty their backpack and supplies.

  Tip #4: Allow children to make choices about homework. Do you want to study right when you get home from school or after dinner?

  Tip #5: Help without over-functioning. Only help if your child asks for it. Don’t do the work for your child. When your child says, “I can’t do it,” suggest they act as if they can and let them pretend like they know and see what happens. Then leave their study area and see if they can handle it. If they still can’t do it, you can ask:
  “What do you get?”
  “What parts do you understand?”
  “Can you give me an example?”
  “How could you find out?”

  Tip #6: If you want a behavior you have to teach a behavior. Disorganization is a problem for many school age children. If you want them to be organized you have to invest the time to help them learn an organizational system. Their job is to use it. Provide direction and correction when necessary. If your child needs help with time management, teach them time management skill. Help them learn what it means to prioritize. Help them experience the value of getting the important things done first.

  Tip #7: Replace monetary and external rewards with encouraging verbal responses. Make positive verbal comments that concentrate on describing the behavior you wish to encourage.

  Tip #8: Use study time to get some of your own responsibilities handled. Keep the TV off! This may distract your child. Study time is a family commitment. If you won’t commit don’t expect that your children will.