Monday, December 8Guidance Department
Teachers:
For e-mail addresses, please see the Staff page.
Mrs. Nancy Averill
Counselor's Corner
November 2008
Bully Prevention - Talk With Your Child about Bullying!
In recent guidance lessons, strategies for dealing with teasing and bullying were discussed. The students at Wayside are encouraged to speak to their teacher or Mrs. Averill if bullying occurs. Parents can help by reading the following suggestions which will allow your child(ren) to manage bully situations more successfully:
1) Listen: It is the child’s story; let him or her tell it. They may be in emotional pain about the way they are being treated.
2) Believe: The knowledge that a child is being bullied can be shocking. To be an effective advocate, parents need to react in a way that encourages the child to trust.
3) Be Supportive: Tell the child it is not his/her fault and that he/she does not deserve to be bullied. Parents need to empower their child by telling him how terrific he/she is. Parents need to avoid judgmental comments about their child or the child who bullies. Their child may already be feeling isolated and hearing negative statements from parents may only further isolate him/her.
4) Be patient: Children may not be ready to open up right away. Talking about the bullying may be difficult as they may rear retaliation from the bully or think that even if they tell an adult that nothing will change. The child might be feeling insecure, withdrawn, frightened, or ashamed.
5) Provide Information: Parents should educate their child about bullying by providing information at a level the child can understand. The following common views about bullying are a good place to start:
Boys will be boys: the implication is that bullying is okay- it is natural for boys to be physically or verbally aggressive. However, research indicates aggression is learned behavior, not a natural response.
Girls don’t bully: research shows that girls can and do bully. While they do not physically bully targets as often as boys, they will often use verbal and social bullying. Bullying for girls escalates during the middle school years.
Words will never hurt you: Studies have shown even thought words don’t leave bruises or broken bones, they may leave deep emotional scars that can have lifelong implications. Children learn at a very early age that words can hurt other children.
Bullying is a natural part of childhood: There is nothing natural about being bullied. Bullying is often considered a normal part of childhood because it is such a common experience. Physical or emotional aggression toward others should not be tolerated as a consequence of childhood.
Some people deserve to be bullied: No child’s behavior merits being hurt or harmed in any manner. Instead, a child who is different form others deserves to be treated with respect and consideration.
Bullying will make kids tougher: Bullying does not make someone tougher. research has shown it often has the opposite effect- lowering a child’s sense of self-worth. Bullying often creates fear and increases anxiety for a child.
Telling the teacher about bullying is tattling: Children need to know the difference between tattling and telling. The secrecy of bullying only serves to protect the bully and to perpetuate the behavior.
It was only teasing: Most children are occasionally teased; teasing in which the parties are not hurt is not considered teasing. Teasing is bullying when a child does not understand they are being teased and/or the intent of the action is to hurt or harm.
6) Explore Options for Intervention Strategies: Parents can discuss with their child options they may have in dealing with bullying behavior. If your child is being bullied at school, you can work with the teachers, counselor, and administrators to create a safe environment.
7) Be aware of Cyber (electronic) Bullying Statistics:
42% of children have been bullied while online- 1 in 4 had it happen more than once
35% of children have been threatened online. Nearly 1 in 5 have had it happen more than once
58% of children admit someone has said mean or hurtful things to them online- more than 4 out of 10 say it has happened more than once
53% of children admit having said something mean or hurtful to another person online- more than 1 in 3 have done it more than once
58% of children have told their parents or an adult about something mean or hurtful that happened to them online
In summary, please alert the school to any bully situations. We will work together to ensure a safe, secure learning environment for all students. Thank you for your ongoing support.
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